Frustration Happens . . .

I was watching the news this morning and saw that there is another family drama unfolding in Michael Jackson's family.   Something is going on between his mother, his siblings, and his children.  At the center of this drama, there appears to be two motivations: the children and money.  Two, very powerful, motivators.  While opposing members of a family may mean well, sometimes, the frustration that leads to anger ends up destroying more than it is saving. 

Frustration happens . . . when one feels trapped;
Frustration happens . . . when one feels that they are not being heard;
Frustration happens . . . when one feels deceived;
Frustration happens . . . when one feels that obstacles are being put in their way;
Frustration happens . . . when one has strong feelings and little power.

When frustration leads to anger, the result can be devastating to the individual, the object of their frustration, and the desired goal. 


STEP BACK . . . Take time to think it through.  Don't react immediately to the frustration. 

                                                                 S-A-V-E


SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE . . . It's not about being right.  It's not about power and control.  It is about handling yourself in a way you can be proud of.  It is about compromise and getting to an end result that is best for everyone, not just you.

ANALYZE YOUR GOAL . . . Is your goal worth what you might lose?  You may loose the respect of someone you value.  You may loose the love of someone you care about.  You may loose the trust of someone who depends on  you.

VISUALIZE THE ACTION YOU ARE ABOUT TO TAKE AND THE RESULT YOU DESIRE . . . Will the action get you what you want?  What will be the cost to you and other's around you?  Is it worth it?  Is there a better way of approaching it?  What is the fallout? 

EXIT THE SITUATION . . . If you are dealing with toxic people who are bent on brewing up a war . . . either remove yourself from the situation entirely, or if that is not an option, get a mediator who can deal in a rational unemotional manner to help you resolve the issue.


In our family we have a little magnet and on it is the "Serenity Prayer."   When someone get's frustrated, I hand it to them, or if it's me, I read it myself. 

                                                                   Serentity Prayer

                         God, grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change,
                         Courage to change the things I can,
                         And the Wisdom to know the difference.